White Lies: When Truth Is Not the Highest Value

The Torah, which exalts truth as the seal of the Almighty, teaches us, remarkably, that sometimes a lie told for the sake of peace and harmony becomes the highest form of truth.

"The seal of the Holy One, blessed be He, is truth," say the sages of the Talmud.

In Jewish tradition, truthfulness is considered one of the fundamental virtues.

The prophet Zechariah calls: "Speak the truth to one another" (8:16), and in Psalms (101:7) it is said: "He who practices deceit shall not dwell within my house; he who speaks falsehood shall not stand before my eyes."

On the other hand, the same Talmud tells us a remarkable story. When the Almighty was about to create the first man, the angels split into two camps: some said, "Let him be created," while others objected, "Let him not be created." Truth (emet) said: "Let him not be created, for he is full of lies." And what did the Almighty do? He took Truth and cast it to the ground, as it is said: "And truth shall be cast to the ground" (Daniel 8:12). Why? Because absolute, uncompromising truth can sometimes be destructive.

Indeed, the Torah recognizes situations in which a certain departure from the literal truth is not only permissible but necessary. The Talmud (Bava Metzia 23b) lists three cases in which a scholar is permitted to depart from the truth:

• When asked about his knowledge (out of modesty);
• About the details of his intimate life;
• About the hospitality shown to him (so as not to burden the hosts in the future).

But the most famous example of a "white lie" in the Torah is connected with the story of Sarah and Abraham. When Sarah heard that she would have a child, she laughed and said: "After I have grown old... and my lord is old." But when the Almighty repeated her words to Abraham, He changed them: "Why did Sarah laugh, saying, 'Shall I really give birth, now that I have grown old?'" – omitting any mention of Abraham's age. Rashi explains that the Almighty changed her words for the sake of peace in the family.

From this story the sages derive a most important principle: "great is peace" – so great that even the Almighty, whose "seal is truth," changed Sarah's words in order to preserve peace.

The Rambam, in the Laws of Robbery and Lost Objects (14:13), writes: "It is permitted to alter one's words for the sake of peace."

And Rashi on Tractate Yevamot (65b) adds: "A person is permitted to alter his words for the sake of peace, as it is said: 'Your father commanded before his death... so shall you say to Joseph: forgive the sin of your brothers.'"

This example from the story of Joseph and his brothers shows that even though there had been no such command from their father, the brothers were permitted to say so for the sake of peace.

Interestingly, in Hebrew the word "sheker" (lie) is made up of letters that stand next to each other in the alphabet (shin, kuf, reish), while "emet" (truth) is made up of letters found at the beginning, middle and end of the alphabet (alef, mem, tav). This symbolizes that a lie is "unsteady," while truth is "stable," encompassing all of existence.

Rav Shimon Shkop taught that the real test of whether an "alteration of the truth" is permissible is motivation. If a person alters the truth for his own benefit, it is forbidden. But if it is done for the good of another person or for the sake of peace, it may be permitted and even praiseworthy.

Ultimately, the Torah teaches us to seek a balance between absolute honesty and sensitivity to the feelings of others. Sometimes the highest form of truth is not the literal precision of words, but the kindness and peace they carry.